Not An Orphan Afterall

In my last post, and for the last four weeks, I have felt like an orphan. When someone blatantly told me I was not, I did not respond so kindly. But after reading some scripture and some much needed prayer I need to rescind my claim to being an orphan (oh and I have already apologized to that person I was not so kind to).

I was reading through John 14 where Jesus is preparing and comforting His disciples as He will be leaving them soon. So much of this was a comfort until conviction set in. I came across verse 18 which says "I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." I burst into tears after realizing my sin. Yes I have lost my mom and dad but I turned my back on my adoptive Father in Heaven. How hurtful I have been to neglect the fact that He is my father and I am His child. Then the analogy came into my mind. Would I want my boys neglecting the fact that I am their mom (adoptive mom)? Would I want them to feel orphaned because they do not have their biological parents in their lives? The answer obviously would be NO! So I prayed for forgiveness and I am trying to get over it myself. I am sad that I would put off the one constant in my life. I pray that I do not make that mistake again. I pray that I will grow as I grieve. My desire is that the Lord would be glorified through my trial. I want to work for the glory of God and not my selfish motives.

Anyways I apologize to you for making a bold claim which turns out to be false. Thanks for your prayers as I know many of you are praying for me. I have so much healing still to do and so much growing, so I ask that you continue to lift me up in prayer.

Orphaned

I do not know if that is the best way to describe the way I feel or my new state of being but it was pointed out to me the other day and I really do not have a better word to describe where I am at.

On Friday, January 29th my mom lost her battle with cancer. Sick since last February and diagnosed in March, she really did fight until the bitter end. I really do not know how to talk about this or even how to process this. It is the complete opposite situation of my dad's passing. He has been gone since January 5, 1997 when he collapsed from a heart attack while on vacation. If you notice the dates both my parents left this world in January, 13 years apart.

As I try to deal with the reality and pray for sleep I sit here with a heavy heart, almost afraid to cry for fear that I will never stop. What I want to share are the words the Lord inspired me to write in my mom's borthday card just one month ago. The words give me hope and make me realized the blessing the Lord gave me.


Dear Mom,

I hope and pray that today is a good day and that you are able to enjoy the whole family. I want you to know that it has been a privilege to serve and help you in this last year. I know it is not easy to ask or accept help and I know it is frustrating not to be able to do things yourself but I have been happy to be there for you. You have done so much for me all my life and not all children are able to give back to their parents in such a tangible way but the Lord granted me the opportunity to give back to you and I praise Him for that. I do wish the circumstances were better and I do wish I could take away your pain. You have been such a trooper and a great example even in your suffering. I love you so much Mom! You are amazing and I truly appreciate you. I pray for you daily. Take comfort in your faith in the Lord and through your faith in Jesus Christ know that you will live eternally with the Creator in Heaven. I take comfort in the fact that one day we will be reunited in Heaven. I praise God for that gift - the ultimate gift of eternal life through Jesus Christ. I have thought about this so much lately and I pray that you hold on to salvation in Christ as the days are tough. Pray to Jesus as He understands your suffering as He suffered on the cross for our sins. Take comfort in that this world is not as good as it gets - the Bible speaks of how amazing Heaven is; it's just too bad that our human minds cannot understand the greatness of Heaven. I love you so much Mom and I will continue to be there for you. Please do not feel guilty or sorry, like I said I count it a privilege to help and serve you.

I LOVE YOU!
Christine

ORGANIZE!!!

I love having talented and organized friends who inspire me. Well Andrea, here it is, my organizing list for the year. I hope I can stick to it. Now we can be accountability partners in organization. Anyone else want to join us???


I hope that this fun to do list makes me more accomplished in 2010 :) I truly love organizing but often am overwhelmed with getting it all done. So I ran with Andrea's idea because I can actually complete this list.

Here is how much I love organizing...when I was a child (I think it started about 7 or 8) I looked forward to summer vacation because I would pull everything out of my closet and organize it. The sad part is the closet was not messy to begin with, it was just my only space that I could control and change so I did. I have also been color coordinating the clothes in my closet since I was about 12. And the last sad fact about my obsession, I used to space my hangers one finger space apart daily! Wow I am truly obsessed :) I have mellowed out about some things thankfully.

For those of you who want me to come to your house to organize, I know someone will make that comment, check back with me in 2011!

It has been too long!

I think I waited too long to come back to the blogging world! My blog seems to be lost in cyberspace.

Please leave me a comment if you are reading this.

I do not want to take the time to update this if I am the only one reading it! I promise if you read this and comment I will come back...like anyone really cares about me coming back. I speak as though I think I have a following!

Make sure you read the important post below...our family is expanding...find out how :)

I'm BACK!!!!

Okay, okay I know I have abandoned my blog for months and you probably thouhgt I was never coming back. Well I actually have thought about giving it up because I cannot bear to add one more thing to my to do list. I have come to terms with the fact that sometimes I need to make time for fun stuff and this is fun. I actually created a to do list of fun things that I am going to intersperse with the not so fun things I have on my main list of to dos.


SO the real reason I am coming back...I wanted to let everyone (of course I think all my friends gave up on my blog so I may be the only one reading this) know what the above picture means. Well we are expanding our family! No Jeff and I are not adopting again. We are going to be GRANDPARENTS!!! Matt and Kate are expecting their first :) I am so excited about being a grandma!!!! A couple of people have asked if I have a problem with it since I am in my mid-30s but NO WAY! I love this unique family that the Lord has created for me. I love that my boys will get to grow up with their niece or nephew. I love that I get to be the kind of grandparent that helps out and is involved and is just there. Jeff and I are ecstatic! I have so much to be thankful for. This family the Lord created is just perfect for me! I love the way we bring new meaning to the term "blended family". I love my kids and I cannot wait to love my grandchildren!

Family Photo Session

The entire clan...

Jeff and me...

The Girls...

Some of the boys...

As Promised...

Brotherly love...Braiden and Gavin holding hands in the car...


And the big boy on his new bike...