In my last post, and for the last four weeks, I have felt like an orphan. When someone blatantly told me I was not, I did not respond so kindly. But after reading some scripture and some much needed prayer I need to rescind my claim to being an orphan (oh and I have already apologized to that person I was not so kind to).
I was reading through John 14 where Jesus is preparing and comforting His disciples as He will be leaving them soon. So much of this was a comfort until conviction set in. I came across verse 18 which says "I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." I burst into tears after realizing my sin. Yes I have lost my mom and dad but I turned my back on my adoptive Father in Heaven. How hurtful I have been to neglect the fact that He is my father and I am His child. Then the analogy came into my mind. Would I want my boys neglecting the fact that I am their mom (adoptive mom)? Would I want them to feel orphaned because they do not have their biological parents in their lives? The answer obviously would be NO! So I prayed for forgiveness and I am trying to get over it myself. I am sad that I would put off the one constant in my life. I pray that I do not make that mistake again. I pray that I will grow as I grieve. My desire is that the Lord would be glorified through my trial. I want to work for the glory of God and not my selfish motives.
Anyways I apologize to you for making a bold claim which turns out to be false. Thanks for your prayers as I know many of you are praying for me. I have so much healing still to do and so much growing, so I ask that you continue to lift me up in prayer.
