It has been too long!

I think I waited too long to come back to the blogging world! My blog seems to be lost in cyberspace.

Please leave me a comment if you are reading this.

I do not want to take the time to update this if I am the only one reading it! I promise if you read this and comment I will come back...like anyone really cares about me coming back. I speak as though I think I have a following!

Make sure you read the important post below...our family is expanding...find out how :)

I'm BACK!!!!

Okay, okay I know I have abandoned my blog for months and you probably thouhgt I was never coming back. Well I actually have thought about giving it up because I cannot bear to add one more thing to my to do list. I have come to terms with the fact that sometimes I need to make time for fun stuff and this is fun. I actually created a to do list of fun things that I am going to intersperse with the not so fun things I have on my main list of to dos.


SO the real reason I am coming back...I wanted to let everyone (of course I think all my friends gave up on my blog so I may be the only one reading this) know what the above picture means. Well we are expanding our family! No Jeff and I are not adopting again. We are going to be GRANDPARENTS!!! Matt and Kate are expecting their first :) I am so excited about being a grandma!!!! A couple of people have asked if I have a problem with it since I am in my mid-30s but NO WAY! I love this unique family that the Lord has created for me. I love that my boys will get to grow up with their niece or nephew. I love that I get to be the kind of grandparent that helps out and is involved and is just there. Jeff and I are ecstatic! I have so much to be thankful for. This family the Lord created is just perfect for me! I love the way we bring new meaning to the term "blended family". I love my kids and I cannot wait to love my grandchildren!

Family Photo Session

The entire clan...

Jeff and me...

The Girls...

Some of the boys...

As Promised...

Brotherly love...Braiden and Gavin holding hands in the car...


And the big boy on his new bike...

Three or Free!!!!

Today is Braiden's third birthday. When you ask him how old he is he replies, "FREE!" I love him but nothing about him, or any child for that matter, is free.

I cannot believe that it has been three years already! This boy just warms my heart : ) He has developed into such a loving, funny, and talented boy. He is quite the communicator and I love our numerous conversations. I do not think I know many boys that talk this much but at least he is a good communicator, which I believe his wife will enjoy.

I never realized being a Mommy would be so fun. I am so blessed! I know that Braiden has his faults, we all do, but we really have fun together. And the way he makes Gavin laugh, when he is not wrestling him of course, it just makes me smile. I love how Gavin looks up to Braiden. He watches his every move and will eat anything that goes into Braiden's mouth. Those two are starting to develop quite the friendship. Braiden so wants to play with Gavin and the little things that Gavin does to get involved with him make him giddy. The newest thing that they are doing is holding hands in the car. In my car they can reach each other just fine and will remain holding hands for some time (I keep forgetting to bring the camera in the car but when I do I promise a picture...it is too precious). When we drove in Jeff's truck the other day Braiden was sad because he and Gavin could not reach each other, Braiden settled for holding my hand but secretly really wanted to hold his brother's hand. Braiden really is a tender loving big brother. We are still working on sharing but all and all he truly loves Gavin.

We went to Toys 'R Us tonight after dinner to buy Braiden his brithday gift, a brand new bike and helmet (pictures to follow). He looks like such a big boy on that bike. When Jeff pulled it down I told him that it was way too big and then Braiden got on it and it fit...he is so big!

Well I could go on and on about Braiden but I must get some sleep as he rises very early!

Big Surprise...

After lunch today Jeff and Braiden had an interesting conversation that went like this:

Jeff: Braiden, you ate such a great lunch you are definitely going to grow today.
Braiden: Yes...
Jeff: You know one day you may grow up to be taller than Daddy?
Braiden: One day Mommy will grow up too!

Not even three years old and he even he realizes that I am short and pretty much the size of a child! I love the way kids think and how honest they are with their words and observations.


Side note - Gavin took four steps on his own today...we are getting closer despite his foot issue that the doctor refuses to give me a referral for.

4 X 4 Challenge

Okay Mary, it took me a while to get to this but here it is... the 4th photo from my 4th folder...


I love this picture! Braiden had only been ours for a couple of hours and our wonderful Bible study family was the first to meet him. He is just two days old here. The day before Heather had just found out that her baby was a boy, Braiden's great friend James. Heather, I love that you were in my 4th picture. You are such a true friend!

Now I tag Amber, Tiffany, Kelly, and Kristina.

My Baby is ONE!

I cannot believe that today is Gavin's first birthday. Where did the year go? I feel like I lived in survival mode for much of the first part of the year and in guilt mode during the second half, sad that I did not hold him more and that I had to split my time between him and Braiden. Gavin has been such an easy going baby for the most part that I think I may have taken advantage of that from time to time. Reflecting on this year has made me realize why this year was tough and emotionally draining but joyous and full of love at the same time.

Reflection:
Wednesday, February 6, 2008 began with an early morning phone call (sometime before 6am) from the director of the agency letting me know that the birth mother had headed to the hospital as she was in labor. This call was a shock as we were not even sure if she was going to go through with the adoption until this day. I prepared for going to the hospital by having my mom come to watch Braiden and Jeff headed home from work. By 10am we were on the way to the hospital with mixed emotions. Our social worker was sick so we had to make the first meeting with the burth mom alone. Talk about an uncomfortable situation, we walked into her hospital room while she was in pain and in labor. Fortunately we had a mutual friend who made things better but really Jeff and I did not stay in the room long. We waited in the tiny waiting room all day. From time to time we were able to talk with family members of the birth mother and get to know a little about them. By 5:30pm we were actually sitting around with many of her relatives. We had a nice time getting to know them. At 6:15pm the birth mother's mom came out to let us know that the little boy had been born and was healthy. One by one the family members left. Jeff and I quickly realized that we were the only two left. We began to pray at this point because we knew that this was second thought time for the birth mom. For two hours we sat and prayed. So for most the moment of birth is a joyous moment, a sigh of relief but for me that is where the tears began and the anxiety started. I knew the Lord was in control but I also knew the pain of losing a child (we had a baby girl for eight days three months before Braiden was born). Those were the longest two hours of my life. Finally about 9pm we were called back to the nursery and were able to meet the little boy we would name Gavin. We actually were able to name him there so all of his documentation has only the name we gave him. Here was our first meeting...

Gavin Thomas 6lbs 13 oz, 18 3/4 in

The next sad part for me was leaving Gavin in the hospital and going home for the evening. We really had no choice. Because I did not give birth we did not have a room and all they could offer us was a closet. No really it may have been a small hallway, but people did come in to get supplies out of the cabinet in the room. The room was about 8 feet long and maybe 3 feet wide. Is is bad when the bassinet, which we had to take in with us as well, takes up the majority of the room? Oh and if Jeff and I were in there together we were quite close! The other "great" thing about the closet was the uncomfortable plastic chair. The floor would have been a better choice but that was not an appropriate option. Below you can see the chair next to me, I was sitting on the same type. Jeff was up against the wall in order to take this picture. Looking at this picture I think I was generous in saying it was 8 feet long, I think it was more like 6. What you see is what you get, there was not any more room to that space.


Anyway, we spent as much time as we could with Gavin but we had to get some sleep so we headed home about 11pm that night. I felt like the worst mother in the world leaving Gavin there alone in the nursery. And I thought I would sleep???!!! I prayed all night long that his birth mother would not change her mind.

The next day we took Braiden with us to meet his little brother. Three minutes into the visit Braiden cut his eye on Gavin's bassinet. Jeff spent a lot of the day entertaining Braiden while I was in our "closet" with Gavin. It was quite awkward explaining to the new shift of nurses the situation (this hospital had not dealt with adoption much which was evident in their lack of protocol). This day although happy was still very gloomy as we had to say good bye to the birth mom. Since she was released late that day we found out we could take Gavin home but after consulting with our social worker we had to wait until the next day. I felt pretty good until a nurse came over and told me that since we were not taking Gavin home that night we should return early the next morning and run with the baby before the grandparents came back...night 2 without sleep and deep in prayer.

The next morning, Friday, I was sick to my stomach getting ready and going to the hospital. I was convinced that Gavin was gone. I held back tears the entire time. When we arrived at the hosptial we had trouble getting through security, he had to make a couple phone calls before he could let us go back! But we did get to go back and Gavin was there waiting for us with our social worker! I wish I could say that is where the roller coaster ended but it did not. We did get to sign documents but the birth mother did not. She did not for a few more days which extended the waiting period for termination of her rights. Again I obviously did not need to be concerned but since we had given a baby back once before we were very guarded. The happy news Gavin came home with us and after much more heartache over the birth father issue and a much longer wait in finalizing than anticipated we did finalize and he is ours forever! I still have a lot to learn on waiting on the Lord. I have learned a lot on the subject through the adoption process but looking back I have not learned enough. I praise God for this amazing life he entrusted to me!

Leaving the hospital!

Here is a funny side note...it will be about 10 months before we will receive Gavin's birth certificate. With Braiden we received a post card about three months after finalization that said we would have the birth certificate in about seven months and not to make contact before then. I want to know if they hand stich them :)

Toothbrush???

So a couple of weeks ago I went to check on Braiden as it had been quiet for quite a long time. When I walked into the bathroom this is what I found...


Yes that is Braiden brushing his TOES with his TOOTHBRUSH!!! When I saw him I yelled "NO Braiden, that is for brushing your teeth!" Without even blinking an eye he moved the toothbrush from his toes straight to his teeth.


I was in dibelief and disgust. (Of course I had to run and get the camera to document this event. I told him to do it one more time for the camera and then never again.) That afternoon we went to purchase a new toothbrush. Where do kids get these crazy ideas???