Not An Orphan Afterall

In my last post, and for the last four weeks, I have felt like an orphan. When someone blatantly told me I was not, I did not respond so kindly. But after reading some scripture and some much needed prayer I need to rescind my claim to being an orphan (oh and I have already apologized to that person I was not so kind to).

I was reading through John 14 where Jesus is preparing and comforting His disciples as He will be leaving them soon. So much of this was a comfort until conviction set in. I came across verse 18 which says "I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." I burst into tears after realizing my sin. Yes I have lost my mom and dad but I turned my back on my adoptive Father in Heaven. How hurtful I have been to neglect the fact that He is my father and I am His child. Then the analogy came into my mind. Would I want my boys neglecting the fact that I am their mom (adoptive mom)? Would I want them to feel orphaned because they do not have their biological parents in their lives? The answer obviously would be NO! So I prayed for forgiveness and I am trying to get over it myself. I am sad that I would put off the one constant in my life. I pray that I do not make that mistake again. I pray that I will grow as I grieve. My desire is that the Lord would be glorified through my trial. I want to work for the glory of God and not my selfish motives.

Anyways I apologize to you for making a bold claim which turns out to be false. Thanks for your prayers as I know many of you are praying for me. I have so much healing still to do and so much growing, so I ask that you continue to lift me up in prayer.

Orphaned

I do not know if that is the best way to describe the way I feel or my new state of being but it was pointed out to me the other day and I really do not have a better word to describe where I am at.

On Friday, January 29th my mom lost her battle with cancer. Sick since last February and diagnosed in March, she really did fight until the bitter end. I really do not know how to talk about this or even how to process this. It is the complete opposite situation of my dad's passing. He has been gone since January 5, 1997 when he collapsed from a heart attack while on vacation. If you notice the dates both my parents left this world in January, 13 years apart.

As I try to deal with the reality and pray for sleep I sit here with a heavy heart, almost afraid to cry for fear that I will never stop. What I want to share are the words the Lord inspired me to write in my mom's borthday card just one month ago. The words give me hope and make me realized the blessing the Lord gave me.


Dear Mom,

I hope and pray that today is a good day and that you are able to enjoy the whole family. I want you to know that it has been a privilege to serve and help you in this last year. I know it is not easy to ask or accept help and I know it is frustrating not to be able to do things yourself but I have been happy to be there for you. You have done so much for me all my life and not all children are able to give back to their parents in such a tangible way but the Lord granted me the opportunity to give back to you and I praise Him for that. I do wish the circumstances were better and I do wish I could take away your pain. You have been such a trooper and a great example even in your suffering. I love you so much Mom! You are amazing and I truly appreciate you. I pray for you daily. Take comfort in your faith in the Lord and through your faith in Jesus Christ know that you will live eternally with the Creator in Heaven. I take comfort in the fact that one day we will be reunited in Heaven. I praise God for that gift - the ultimate gift of eternal life through Jesus Christ. I have thought about this so much lately and I pray that you hold on to salvation in Christ as the days are tough. Pray to Jesus as He understands your suffering as He suffered on the cross for our sins. Take comfort in that this world is not as good as it gets - the Bible speaks of how amazing Heaven is; it's just too bad that our human minds cannot understand the greatness of Heaven. I love you so much Mom and I will continue to be there for you. Please do not feel guilty or sorry, like I said I count it a privilege to help and serve you.

I LOVE YOU!
Christine

ORGANIZE!!!

I love having talented and organized friends who inspire me. Well Andrea, here it is, my organizing list for the year. I hope I can stick to it. Now we can be accountability partners in organization. Anyone else want to join us???


I hope that this fun to do list makes me more accomplished in 2010 :) I truly love organizing but often am overwhelmed with getting it all done. So I ran with Andrea's idea because I can actually complete this list.

Here is how much I love organizing...when I was a child (I think it started about 7 or 8) I looked forward to summer vacation because I would pull everything out of my closet and organize it. The sad part is the closet was not messy to begin with, it was just my only space that I could control and change so I did. I have also been color coordinating the clothes in my closet since I was about 12. And the last sad fact about my obsession, I used to space my hangers one finger space apart daily! Wow I am truly obsessed :) I have mellowed out about some things thankfully.

For those of you who want me to come to your house to organize, I know someone will make that comment, check back with me in 2011!