In my last post, and for the last four weeks, I have felt like an orphan. When someone blatantly told me I was not, I did not respond so kindly. But after reading some scripture and some much needed prayer I need to rescind my claim to being an orphan (oh and I have already apologized to that person I was not so kind to).
I was reading through John 14 where Jesus is preparing and comforting His disciples as He will be leaving them soon. So much of this was a comfort until conviction set in. I came across verse 18 which says "I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." I burst into tears after realizing my sin. Yes I have lost my mom and dad but I turned my back on my adoptive Father in Heaven. How hurtful I have been to neglect the fact that He is my father and I am His child. Then the analogy came into my mind. Would I want my boys neglecting the fact that I am their mom (adoptive mom)? Would I want them to feel orphaned because they do not have their biological parents in their lives? The answer obviously would be NO! So I prayed for forgiveness and I am trying to get over it myself. I am sad that I would put off the one constant in my life. I pray that I do not make that mistake again. I pray that I will grow as I grieve. My desire is that the Lord would be glorified through my trial. I want to work for the glory of God and not my selfish motives.
Anyways I apologize to you for making a bold claim which turns out to be false. Thanks for your prayers as I know many of you are praying for me. I have so much healing still to do and so much growing, so I ask that you continue to lift me up in prayer.
2 comments:
Oh Christine - how sweet it is when our hearts are so open and honest and precious before the Lord. I love when He shows us how are hearts are deceiving us - what a blessing when He opens the eyes of our hearts. But to encourage you my friend, I heard your pain and your hurt in your post, not your theology - it never crossed my mind. Maybe I'm the one that needs a lesson :). But honestly it was the pain I could hear in your words that made my heart break for you. You are loved I know by so many around you. Thank you for your transparency and openness - if only we could all be like this more often.
Praying for you and hoping that God shortens this path of pain and lengthens the path of joy. Hugs!!! xoxo
Those things are always such a personal and intimate thing between us and the Lord who created, aren't they? What humility and honor you have shown Him, even in your grief. I wish I could hug you and make you some tea. He has promised to keep every tear and wipe each one from our eyes when He comes again! How amazing will that comfort be!
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